I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
