Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
