she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
