I am in a vortex of obligation.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
