So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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