K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Someone came in the potted fern
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
