It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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