Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm experimenting with sincerity
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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