Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
