can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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