I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
