Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
