I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
