its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i believe in u and ur pee
God, I missed his penis.
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