Your dad touched me again.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
