It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
