I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Randomize
