So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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