I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
