If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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