can we get nightvision for the apartment?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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