Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Your penis caused this!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
