i barfeds in our rink
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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