They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
