if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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