Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
