He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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