i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
