And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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