my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I need moral support for this bender
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
