just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
