I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
she peed on how many people?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
