This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
