Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
vagina is talking i cant
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
