ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
