Christians are straight up FREAKS
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
