just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
