Dual....:-)
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
someone owes me an orgasm
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
