I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
