Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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