Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
