what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
