Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
