I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Your cock deserves a montage
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have feelings that need drinking.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
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