At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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