I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
