if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The Olympian is in my bed
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
