The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
