I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
