I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Text me some of your sweat
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
